Lost on the Path of Life
Excuse #543

I was on the wrong side of a wall and I couldn’t figure out how to get around it.

Posted 15 hours ago
7 notes
Tagged: hatake kakashi, naruto, it was like one of those streets with a bunch of walls that are right up next to each other instead of having spaces between them, it was a very long street, I don't know I was kind of disoriented because I didn't get much sleep last night, anyway I was in the middle of the street and it seemed like it was taking an unnecessarily long time to get to the corner I was walking to, so I turned around to see if the other corner was closer, it wasn't, I walked back and forth for a while, in the end I remembered that I could have just walked over the wall in the first place, and felt very silly for having wasted so much time, sometimes I forget that I'm a ninja and that I can do ninja things, conveniently I forget this when I need an excuse because of how late for something I am, .
Excuse #542

I was calling the cereal company to find out why I hadn’t received the invisibility cloak that I was promised if I mailed in five box tops and 50 cents.

Posted 1 day ago
8 notes
Tagged: hatake kakashi, naruto, apparently the offer expired 40 years ago, this came as quite the surprise, because that meant that i was eating 40-year-old cereal, it seemed completely fine, which means of course that it's mostly preservatives and other garbage, i thought i was eating healthy cereal so i feel ripped off, and also concerned for my health, it cannot be a good idea to eat things that are 40 years old, if i start throwing up you know why, also i know i told you i'd be able to be invisible for this mission but that's not gonna happen, sorry, .
Excuse #541

I was doing last minute studying for a final exam.

Posted 1 day ago
11 notes
Tagged: hatake kakashi, naruto, no I, uh, ninja college, yes, I am a student, I have been a student for a while, it has been, three years, I've been, taking night classes, in a school in another city, ninja university, very prestigious, very well known except to you I guess, yeah I'm, studying, so hard, trying to get a degree in, um, school, no that doesn't make any sense, uhh, weather?, why am I even thinking about this you don't know anything about the education system outside of konoha, I am getting a degree in weather, you should be proud of me, yep, .
Excuse #540

I was attacked by a mob of fluffy white puppies.

Posted 2 days ago
5 notes
Tagged: hatake kakashi, naruto, they were all over me, standing on me, licking me, making small noises, smelling me, never have I met such a deadly adversary as these fluffy puppies, they could have ended my life then and there, I'm very lucky to be alive, no thanks to you of course, you know instead of just wandering off because I was three hours late and you were tired of waiting for me, maybe it should have occurred to you that I was in danger, grave danger, SUPER danger, and that you could have come looking for me, then maybe I wouldn't have had to face this foe alone, I managed to survive but it was a close call, .
Excuse #539

I melted.

Posted 3 days ago
6 notes
Tagged: hatake kakashi, naruto, it was really hot out, .
Excuse #538

It was colder out than I expected so I had to go home and get a sweater.

Posted 3 days ago
2 notes
Tagged: hatake kakashi, naruto, i know that i once went to the land of snow wearing nothing but my usual clothes and a scarf, but this was extremely stupid and i was freezing the whole time, it sucked, i couldn't stop shivering, anyway it's not nearly that cold today, but it's a bit nippy, i heard that it's getting a lot warmer later, but right now it's cold, so i need a sweater, i only have one and i didn't know where it was, so looking for it took about four hours, yes it really took four hours to find a thing in my tiny-ass apartment, what of it, don't say ass, you're a teenager you're not supposed to curse, also why don't you have a sweater, .
Excuse #537

The devil made me do it.

Posted 4 days ago
4 notes
Tagged: hatake kakashi, naruto, literally, the devil showed up, and told me that i had to be late to meet you, i don't know why he wanted me to do that, but it seemed like it was pretty important, after he commanded this, he drank all my beer, and ate a woman named chrissy who i was spending with, she had large breasts, this is relevant because he said it was why he ate her, i asked him to vomit up both of these things, assuming that he could not possibly have digested this woman already, and that she might be saved with medical treatment, what is the devil do you ask?, i don't know, some dude from a religion i've never heard of i guess, .
Excuse #536

I got into an intense argument with Tenzo about how to season the rice dish we were making.

Posted 5 days ago
4 notes
Tagged: hatake kakashi, naruto, apparently he doesn't like black pepper very much, i didn't know this so i put pepper in the rice, he got mad, he thought it meant that i didn't care about him, that i didn't want him to be able to eat the rice that we were making together, that i didn't even want him to be there, and i was showing that by passive-aggressively putting pepper in the food, i like pepper, maybe i knew that he didn't at one point, but if i did i completely forgot, i just did it without thinking, anyway he was really mad, and i ended up dumping out the whole thing and starting over, without pepper, he went outside, sighed heavily, and made a tree, so yeah sorry we're late for getting drunk with you guys, but if you're not already drunk maybe we can do something else?, i don't really want tenzo getting drunk while he's still mad at me, it could be very frightening, .
Excuse #535

I ran into a wall and hurt myself.

Posted 5 days ago
10 notes
Tagged: hatake kakashi, naruto, you know how when people do those perspective paintings on walls, so that it looks like it's a tunnel instead of just a wall, yeah I was running really quickly and I didn't have time to slow down by the time I noticed, I'm very embarrassed to admit this because it's such a stupid mistake to make, do you see how much i trust you, that I'm not making up something stupid and unbelievable to cover up the Looney Tunes accident I got into, no, I appreciate the compliment but just because I'm normally graceful and attentive doesn't mean I don't make mistakes, mistakes that involve slamming headfirst into a wall, I don't even know why I was running anymore my head hurts too much for me to remember, .
Excuse #534

I had to convince an old lady not to swallow a cat.

Posted 6 days ago
6 notes
Tagged: hatake kakashi, naruto, at first the idea just seemed completely absurd, and when she explained to me why she wanted to do it, it seemed even more absurd, you see she had swallowed a fly, to remedy this she swallowed a spider, instead of letting her digestive system take care of it, she gave herself more problems, anyway then she needed to get rid of the spider so she swallowed a bird, she swallowed a goddamn bird whole, and alive, that is not going to be easy to digest, it's pecking at her intestines and she says it hurts, for some reason she wants to swallow a cat to catch the bird, yeah you heard me, a cat, i'm pretty sure a cat won't even fit down her throat, she wants to swallow it whole and alive, and it has to be an old enough cat that it can kill a bird, this is a terrible idea, perhaps she'll die, unless i can convince her to stop this nonsense, the bird probably doesn't give a shit about the spider it's probably freaking out or dead, the cat will either destroy her organs with its claws or die, old lady please no why, stahp, .